Learning To Be Seen

I’ve been sitting on this photo for months. Not because I don’t like it but because I’m learning how to let myself be seen (outside of my inner circle) without overthinking the outcome.

I’m in a mind-blowing, paralyzingly scary, yet thrilling transition period of life. My dreams have caught up to me and demand I stop running. To stop splitting my nervous system between “backup plan” and “calling”. If my dreams could talk, they’d ask me why I resist the sacred, energetic pulls drawing me toward what is meant for me.

Exploring and living the concept of groundlessness is terrifying, but if embraced, it’s limitless. I wake up every day feeling the full range of emotions – fear, grief, excitement, gratitude, joy, love. I’ve often been told that I’m too emotional and that I shouldn’t let them drive my decisions. I believe emotion can be quite telling.

I once read to “follow the fear”, and that has stuck with me, quietly cheering me on, for years. Beyond the walls of comfort and familiarity is limitless opportunity and learning. It’s soul-stirring to choose such a bold path. I have and will no doubt continue to be met with protective narratives masked as limits. I find, more often than not, I’ve imagined these emotional iron-clad walls are actually freely swinging doors.

Here lately, I’ve been met with one heavy door after the next. How am I going to evolve past this? The answer is honesty and self-compassion. I’ve found it always starts with me before it can radiate outward. Unapologetically listening to my body, leaning into the pulls, and meeting hardness with softness.

— Maddison